Thoughts.
OUR LIVES BEGIN TO END THE DAY WE BECOME SILENT ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTER.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
10/26/2015 0 Comments SexismThis past Tuesday, my teacher starts class by saying we are going to discuss gender inequality. As soon as she starts talking, I don't like what is being said but I keep in mind that she's speaking in a general sense and isn't stating these [behaviors] are the right way to go about raising a child. Then, she opens the floor for discussion. She asks us something like "Would you let your son take ballet?" and says she wants the guys to go first since women are generally more progressive. (Okay, I'm fine with that. Plus, there are only a handful of guys present that day so it shouldn't even take that long.) The guys start talking and about half of them say yes they would let their son take ballet while the other half say something along the lines of "yeah, because my son will be a player" (EXCUSE ME?!? ARE YOU CUSSING KIDDING ME?!?) or "no, hell no [insert generally homophobic reason here]". *DEEP BREATHES* "Maybe they don't know any better?" I think to myself. Then, I have to sit there listening to things like: "I don't want my son to be girly" "I don't want my son to be associated with that" "I'd slap my son's face" and more from the WOMEN in my class. Uummm... I can feel my face becoming flushed with frustration. My friend next to me raises her hand and asks what everyone is so afraid of. She follows with something like, "Are you guys afraid of your sons being homosexual?" And the common answer from people saying they wouldn't want their sons in ballet is YES! So I finally raise my hand and say something like:
As soon as I stopped talking, people started disagreeing with what I said. Here's the thing though... THIS. IS. SCIENCE. Here's an article. Our kids know what we teach them! It might seem cute or funny or cool to teach your son to "be a man" by "picking up girls" or something like that, but teaching half the earth's population that it's okay to objectify women or that they need to pursue women at such a young age and/or that it's not okay to express themselves in a gentle way because they must be tough... these aren't okay. Kids need time to be just that... kids. When we teach boys to be aggressive and girls to be submissive, we end up with statistics like THIS and that's not okay. I'm not even simply talking about men raping women. Men who are sexual assault victims are less likely to report or disclose than women. Research estimates as 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused before the age of 18, but most end up not reporting it and some don't even consider it abuse afterwards because of how we teach boys/men to think and approach sex, etc. ("Researchers use “sexual abuse” to describe experiences in which children are subjected to unwanted sexual contact involving force, threats, or a large age difference between the child and the other person..." CITATION)
So far I've only been using statistics from within the United States. If you look at sexism in a global capacity, it's scary how the numbers add up. Recently, I was informed that sex determination of a fetus is illegal in India because there is a ban on sex selection there! That is a thing that has to be regulated in there! I'm not saying India is full of monsters. I'm simply pointing out an example of the worldwide stigma attached to women! There's a movement called the Everyday Sexism Project that was started in 2012 by Laura Bates. It's still alive and kicking on Twitter. Check out @everydaysexism on Twitter for a glimpse of sexism happening around the world ranging from catcalls to some serious [stuff]. Check out their website or this article to see a variety of posts made from 2012-2014. Oh, and by the way, female circumcision is a real thing, too, in case you were unaware of that. There is no medical reason for this! NONE!! "The practice is mostly carried out by traditional circumcisers, who often play other central roles in communities, such as attending childbirths. However, more than 18% of all FGM [female genital mutilation] is performed by health care providers, and the trend towards medicalization is increasing" CITATION. Some countries are taking action against this while others aren't. In February of this year, Newsweek even put out and article on the rise of female genital mutilation in the US! Read the article HERE. You can't tell me sexism isn't a thing or that it's stupid or anything really. I know sexism is ever present so far and it's disgusting!! I've literally had to fuss at kids (within the last year) for saying some incredibly sexist things and they don't even know what they're saying or why it's so mean! They've been taught (by parents, school, other kids, tv, whatever) that it's funny/okay to joke like that and say those things. Children know what we as a society teach them. If we want sexist assholes to roam the world, we can keep doing what we're doing. However, if we want change to happen, we need to change how we raise our children. That's where it all starts! Don't raise your sons and daughters a certain way because you are trying to mold them into heterosexuals. They are what they are regardless. (Also, for those of you who believe it's wrong for whatever reason, you can explain that belief your child without being sexist, oppressive, or an asshole... That IS possible.) Wouldn't it be better to focus on raising our children to be nice, kind, upstanding global citizens? Wouldn't it be better to focus on teaching children to solve problems without violence and how to communicate clearly and how to empathize and altruism?
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I'm spent.I feel so spent right now. I cried a couple times today, not because anyone was mean or they upset me. I cried because a friend and I talked about a couple things lately that've been hard for me. Today was a good day until I cried... since then I've been mostly exhausted.
I know that crying is a normal thing people do and it can sometimes make people feel better. However, it is not a normal thing for me. Crying physically exhausts me. It emotionally exhausts me. If I were to sit around one day and cry off and on all day, I would probably need a full day afterwards to sleep it all off. I've had people say things like "It's not healthy to never cry" or "You need to allow yourself to feel your feelings/process your feelings/etc"... all of that might be true for other people, but crying all the time isn't an option for me. I feel physically ill now because I cried earlier. MY BODY DOES NOT DO WELL AFTER FEELING OVERWHELMED LIKE THAT! Recently I had I friend die. She was originally a teacher of mine, but we grew to be friends and I valued her so very much. When I found out she'd passed away, I wept. However, the crying allowed me to mourn the loss of her life and process that situation. That is one of the rare cases when crying does not wear me out. Crying then actually helped a lot. In normal situations where I have not lost something, I am usually just in a tricky situation or a stressful thing has happened, crying does not help. It stresses me out and adds to my already full plate. This is something I learned about myself today. I had an inkling before, but today really drove that inkling home. It's for sure now. |